OVERCOMING FAMILY CONFLICTS

WHAT IS A FAMILY CONFLICT?

Family conflict refers to active opposition between family members. Because of the nature of family relationships, it can take a wide variety of forms, including verbal, physical, sexual, financial, or psychological. Conflicts may involve different combinations of family members: it can be conflict within the couple or between parents and children or, again, between siblings.

Problems or Conflicts are a part of family life and listening to each other and working to resolve conflicts are important in strengthening the family. So, here are other steps in overcoming family conflicts :))

STEPS IN OVERCOMING FAMILY CONFLICTS:

1. Work out if the issue is worth fighting over.
2. Try to separate the problem from the person.
3. Try to cool off first if you feel too angry to talk calmly.
4. Keep in mind that the idea is to resolve the conflict, not win the argument.

Can this be avoided?

Well, Yes.

STEPS TO AVOID FAMILY CONFLICTS:

1. Clearly state the "rules" upfront.

The proactive approach is to avert the issue ahead of time. Request that a strict "no talking politics" rule be enforced. Of course, this can be easier said than done. Some people may choose to stir the pot anyway. In this case, do your best to quell the conflict by changing the subject.

2. Listen actively and mindfully.

If things get heated, stop, take a breath, and ask more questions to clarify their position before answering. Ensure your body language reflects a collaborative tone as well. Uncross your arms, maintain eye contact and remain calm.

3. Empathize.

You don't have to agree with a person to empathize with them -- but you do need to listen, come to understand and respect their viewpoint, even if it is vastly different from your own.  Say things like, "I can understand why you feel that way..." or "I'm so sorry this has affected you this way..." 

The goal is to come together and say what needs to be said so that the other person feels valued and respected and, therefore, can actually hear your message.

4. Defer the Conversation

Remind your guests, calmly and respectfully, that the holidays are not the time and place for this type of conversation. It is meant to be a time of reconnecting and renewal. If it's getting heated and emotionally charged, try saying something like, "I'm going to ask that we defer this conversation, we're here to spend time together and enjoy each other's company..."

5. Take the Higher Ground

A conflict cannot survive without your participation. No one ever changes their minds, or comes to understand another by being interrupted, insulted or belittled. The secret is to keep your composure and say things like "I respectfully disagree" -- and continue to divert the conversation to another 'safe' topic.